Divorce...

                                                             DIVORCE 

Divorce can be a very difficult time for most people.  I speak about this in my recent video. Divorce can lead to feelings of disappointment. I felt like I lost it all. I expected to be married forever. We almost made it to 10 years of marriage. 


Divorce involves legal, financial and emotional changes and much more. Responsibilities changed, all of my routines changed. Divorce can take time for you to get it together. It first starts with the separation process and then the dissolution of marriage. 

I took 2 years away from making videos and being present so much on social media. I never considered myself as a private person. It was taboo to make videos about hair and your family back in 2009 and I was apart of the beginning of YouTube/ Natural Hair community. 

I shared my hair, my family and bits and pieces of my social life on YouTube, but this matter wasn't for the public. 

Would you want to see me  on video in tears, emotional,  and upset because my family was falling apart? Yes ? No? some people would lol but, who would edit the video? haaaaa NOT me!  Definitely, NOT my ex lol. I was too busy crying over spoiled milk lol. I cry ugly tears. Not Cute. 



Reality tv stars get PAID to do it lol. I noticed that people on YouTube who advertise their personal matters make a living, yet it was still NOT for me. I applaud them and some of them actually help me cope. I respectfully watched, liked and subscribe to support their channels.  I'd probably have so many views if I did for sure! It was definitely full of action everyday.  I actually turned the camera on several times to vlog my divorce process.  However, I would start to edit and eventually ended up deleting  it all. 

I had to take a  "adult" time out. I went from being a stay at home mom for over 6 years to starting a new job while living in a new city.  I had to make new friends. I made some awesome friends. I love them dearly. I built some lifetime friendships with several amazing women during my divorce. 

I couldn't make videos or speak about my divorce until I was  feeling less emotional so that I  could make decisions with a clearer head. 

I needed my "me" time. I didn't know if I wanted to make videos anymore. So after two years, I asked myself will my subscribers still want to watch?  If NOT, I still watch my own videos for reference lol. 

I've always captured moments of my life on camera since I was a little girl. My uncle gave me my first Polaroid camera in middle school. I begged him for it! He eventually gave in. I still have that camera I think. I love to take pictures! I love to capture  moments on film. YouTube is a source of storing moments of my life. I hope YouTube never goes away lol I would literally cry!